Your browser version is outdated. We recommend that you update your browser to the latest version.


Previous: Anger





When asked to name our basic emotions, Fear is the one we tend to forget the most. Fear is the other business end of our emotions, where the work really starts. If the instinct of Fear is Flight, then we give into this instinct any time we avoid not only what is happening in our outside world, but also what is happening inside us - including our emotions. Avoidance of fear is therefore fear turning in on itself, making it quite ineffective. What we seem to be most scared of is not only pain, but also of death. Fear should therefore warn us and help us to avoid not only pain, but also death - if we listen to it and allow ourselves to learn from it. When we avoid the fear - it grows and grows. However when we listen to it, the fear calms down to a manageable size. So strangely, my motto is that we should Trust our Paranoia, and strangely this may actually protect us and avoid getting hurt.

Of course, this is the opposite of what our society teaches. They say fear should be avoided or overcome, but never taken seriously. We openly criticise people who appear paranoid or anxious. And rather than teaching them to use their fear more effectively, we ask them to take medication that blunts the fear and desensitise us. Oh, and we call it a medical condition that only doctors and psychologists can treat. On the other hand, we watch scary movies, ride roller coasters and jump off bridges attached to bungy cords - what on earth are we trying to do? Perhaps we are trying to try to decondition ourselves to a fear where we know we are safe, so we can block it out when we don't know. We often do that - attach our emotions to the wrong thing - in an attempt to deal with it, when we are not even close. Another good example of this occurs when we develop phobias - for example fear of heights - rather than facing the real fear that confronts us.

Unfortunately sometimes these fears are very deep and often involve our pride and ego.


Fear Spectrum
•Fear is just the messenger that something may become wrong
•Range is concern to terror
•Instinct is to run away
•Danger is to ignore the “gut reaction”
•Learn to use fear for protection and sense of reality.
•“Feel the fear but do it anyway.”

Next: Growing Up

Cookie Policy

This site uses cookies to store information on your computer.

Do you accept?