Previous: Pleasure

Pain

Pain

Pain is the one emotion that we seem to know least about. We want to avoid facing it at all costs - but it is really the things that cause the pain that we should be avoiding after all. Surely if we avoid the things cause cause pain we will end up with more pleasure, so shouldn't we want to embrace it and learn from our mistakes. Ha - as if that happens - we seem to go around repeating the same mistakes over and over again, usually blaming someone else for them, and not realising that the solution is so close at hand.

Remember the last time a friend had too much to drink the night before (I'm sure the reader would be more careful)?

The friend will say "I feel so awful - I will never again touch a drop of alcohol in my entire life...." but that conviction rarely lasts more than a day.

Why can't we remember the pain, so that the next time it comes close we avoid it, and try to find another course in our lives?

Perhaps it comes back to that problem - if we believe that pleasure is so good, then pain must be so bad. I am not saying we should create pain for ourselves, or that pain should be pleasant - it is entirely unpleasant - but perhaps its our avoidance of the pain that stops us learning from our mistakes.

If the instinct of pain is to give in or give up, maybe our task with pain is to just accept it rather than fight against it, allowing us to feel sad when we need to feel sad, so we can move forward and not carry it with us.

There are several types of pain - sometimes it is because we have lost something or someone, sometimes it is a hunger which drives us to find food (in many different forms), and sometimes it is a loneliness that leads us to find and mix with people. Pain not only helps us to avoid repeating mistakes, but helps us to move forward and fulfil our needs.

Loss is something we deal with badly - very few of us can say goodbye and move on. We talk of grief, but think of it as either an illness or something that only happens to other people. But we all continually need to close chapters in our lives and move on to the next chapter. We have rituals in our culture to help us graduate from school, or say goodbye to someone who has died, although many cultures do this better. However we are not good at developing our own methods which give it a personal touch and deal with our own sadness our way. we will discuss this more at a later time.

Hunger is not only to do with food - it can be a hunger for any of out needs, and necessary to find if we are to find the motivation for tasks that we want to pursue. But the biggest problem with hunger is related to our eating habits and in our endeavours to lose weight.

There are many aspects of Pain that we need to learn to use wisely. Dealing with Pain is like paying the bills - pain is the business end of our emotions.

Next: Anger